Dispatches From The Fake America
DEVON GRANDY (New York, New York)
So you may or may not remember Sarah Palin’s extolling of the “real America”--you know, where “folk” are “hardworking,” “very patriotic,” and “pro-America.” Don’t remember? John Stewart breaks it down:
Well, we here at Break Out The Oreos feel bad about this whole thing; after all, we love baseball and apple pie and our mothers just like those “everyday Americans” in small towns, but on the other hand, we’re pro-choice, Ivy League intellectual, New York elitist pinkos. So what do we do? Are we real Americans? Are we real Americans every day of the week?
Answers to these questions and more in video form, after the jump:
Ah! So now that we’ve established our exclusion from the “real America”, can we get sarcastic and angry about it? After all, isn’t it true that the 9/11 attacks happened here in New York City? Are all of those victims and heroes “fake Americans“? How is it that an attack on the “capital” of “anti-America” became a justification for leading the “real America” into a pair of real wars in the Middle East? After all, it wasn’t the terrorists attacking America as much as God punishing us liberal, feminist, abortionist, secularist, queer-loving, ACLU-loving heathens, right?
Keith Olbermann hits almost every nail I could have thought of squarely on the head in his “Special Comment” last night:
For those of you currently residing within the “real America”--that is, the backward-thinking, bigoted, homophobic, anti-choice, gun-fondling, xenophobic, anti-education, racist, bumblefuck reactionaries--for whom Olbermann’s words may have been too “big city fancy,” John Stewart may be a little more accessible:
Aaron Sorkin once wrote this of the problem between the red states and the blue states: “Well, your side hates my side because you think we think you’re stupid and my side hates your side because we think you’re stupid.”
Guess what, Sarah Palin? We think you’re pretty stupid.
Devon Grandy is a writer, blogger, humorist, filmmaker, and musician. The creator and Editor-in-Chief of Break Out The Oreos, Devon is chiefly responsible for the alternatingly mind-numbing and glee-inspiring process of transforming his brainchild into a "for real" web magazine. Read more.
