Ivy League Quidditch?
DEVON GRANDY (New York, New York)
It appears that the student-athletes at Middlebury College, driven mad in the wilderness of rural Vermont, have remedied their lack of things to do by turning to their old Harry Potter obsessions. Middlebury’s Quidditch team, straight-facedly described by some sources as “the best in the nation,” put on an exhibition at Penn, traveling to Princeton the next day. Middlebury’s Panthers destroyed the Princeton Tigers, winning two matches by scores of 100-0 and 160-90.
UPDATE: A story on the the Middlebury at Princeton matches will be on CBS’ Early Show tomorrow morning.
More after the jump:
While Break Out The Oreos considers adults running around on broomsticks to be far too easy to make fun of, the general showing of interest in what is essentially dodgeball combined with basketball (but with brooms!) has been particularly intriguing. ESPN, MTV, and CBS have all been filming Middlebury’s tour through the Northeast. The Princeton event in particularly appears to have drawn a crowd.
And what is this talk about Middlebury bringing Quidditch to elsewhere in the Ivy League? As far as we know, Princeton is the only Ivy League school with a team. Could this freakish activity breach the safety of Columbia’s walls?
Word on the street has it that Middlebury was scheduled to come to Columbia for an exhibition, but was turned away when it was discovered that the tarps covering the lawns weren’t coming off in time. Columbia students can breathe a sigh of relief: this is why the administration never lets us on the grass.
While the Quidditch incident firmly establishes Princeton as BOTO’s nerdiest Ivy (in combination with its Pi Day festivities), we may take some comfort in the litany of terrible lines included in the Prince’s coverage of the story. Some gems below:
- The headline, “Quidditch sweeps into Princeton.“
- “Though Minister of Magic Rufus Scrimgeour was unable to make an appearance…”
- “In a related story, Frawley is thinking about filing a complaint that Middlebury bewitched one of the bludgers. All inquiries should no doubt be forwarded to the Ministry of Magic.”
Devon Grandy is a writer, blogger, humorist, filmmaker, and musician. The creator and Editor-in-Chief of Break Out The Oreos, Devon is chiefly responsible for the alternatingly mind-numbing and glee-inspiring process of transforming his brainchild into a "for real" web magazine. Read more.
