Congressman Goes Hunting for Commies
BEN THEODOR (Haverford, Pennsylvania)
Students of history may well remember the case of Senator Joe McCarthy, who initiated a witch-hunt for Communist Party loyalists within the federal government. His exploitation of Cold War fears is often referenced as a dark mark on American history, and people generally believe that our country has been better off since politicians stopped accusing each other of being Reds.
I suppose that President Obama has managed to co-opt the legacy of the GOP’s most admired member, President Abraham Lincoln. One wonders, however, with the Republican Party desperately searching for a (positive) way to stay relevant, if Senator McCarthy’s example is really what one particular GOP congressman should aspire to.
Congressman Spencer Bachus (R-AL), aspiring to the legacy of his party’s most historically vilified member, announced yesterday that he has a secret list of 17 socialists in the U.S. Congress. Bachus’s list was no doubt compiled after a rigorous, private investigation involving an undercover informant, weird codenames, and a femme fatale. The story Bachus’s quest for truth in the defense of capitalism is sure to make millions as a Hollywood spy thriller, so I won’t bore you with the details.
However, I will *spoiler alert* reveal the big twist at the end – Bachus is looking for himself. Incredibly, this conservative congressman, self-appointed scourge of socialism, in fact voted for the $700 billion bank bailout, easily the most socialist step ever taken by the U.S. government.
The Socialist Manchurian Candidate opens on November 2, 2010 exclusively in Alabama, directed by M. Night Shyamalan.
Ben Theodor tried to tame the blogging beast within by murdering his former blog, Change We Voted For, in cold blood (his first attempt, Election Day Countdown, expired due to natural causes). However, like so many cheap horror movie villains, Ben's sarcasm simply couldn't be kept down, and has found a permanent home here at BOTO. Read more.
