DEVON GRANDY (Bariloche, Argentina)
Forsooth, BOTO! Hast thou creator returnéd from such icy Patagonian corners to whence he departed? What ho!
Just for the record, everything in the preceding lines was fabricated and probably has very little to do with either Old or Shakespearean English. If you were fooled, now is the time to be impressed. If you are a graduate student finishing a degree in “Ornate Linguistics of the Medieval Period,” please do not send Break Out The Oreos letters of correction. Devon will share them with Nicole and they will collectively laugh at your major.![graph-up[1]](http://breakouttheoreos.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/graph-up1.jpg)
Congratulations, BOTO readership! You’ve done so well in recent weeks that you’ve been rewarded with the first colored text of our humble blog’s young history! Not only have you set new records for daily and weekly hits here at Break Out The Oreos, you’ve also accomplished what once seemed impossible: you’ve increased site traffic so much that a Google search for “break out the oreos” now leads websurfers directly here, even without the quotation marks! You’ve even managed to make Googling Devon’s name a quick hop to the blog, which sure as hell beats the YouTube videos, high school sailing rankings, and decade-old Amazon.com book reviews that used to show up. BOTO could, of course, observe the logical correspondence in timing between BOTO’s sudden rise in popularity and the appearance of Nicole’s blogging on the site, as well as the blatant and shameless self-advertisement by said writers on Facebook. On the other hand, did we mention that Devon’s in Argentina?
Devon defeats poor wifi and battery life on his laptop to bring you updates from Patagonia, after the jump:
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NICOLE CATÁ (New York, New York)
The second, newest half of the BOTO team is outraged. In the midst of her mourning stage, she couldn’t help but remark that New York’s leading newspapers have failed to commemorate the apparent death of her beloved university in the form of an obituary. After all, BOTO can only assume that Columbia is no longer with us: too few students traverse the stones of College Walk, Bwog has resorted to reporting false alarms of Columbia College’s insidious photoshopping exploits, and BOTO insiders cannot seem to recall any protests on campus within a fortnight’s time. Since commencement, the eerie lack of sentient beings within this institution’s walls have led our resident redhead to conclude that Columbia is in a better place now. Granted, a handful of the few students remaining to commiserate during these difficult times assure us that this happens every year, as part of a cycle. We here at BOTO know better, recognizing these soothing words as the euphemism that they are and resolving to persevere with fortitude and grace. In the meantime, we encourage our readership to write letters of protest to their local newspapers, in the spirit of our alma mater, requesting that they honor Columbia in this dark hour.
Comfort in the form of a gold thong after the jump: Read More
NICOLE CATÁ (New York, New York)
We’d like to cover two lines of business today at BOTO. First, we bid a hearty farewell to Devon, handkerchiefs in hand and tears in our collective eye, as he travels to a resort in Argentina via a 22-hour bus ride from Buenos Aires. It seems that a volcano in Chile, which hadn’t demonstrated measurable activity in thousands of years, saw fit to erupt weeks before our beloved co-writer’s flight to South America, only to shower nearby Argentina with volcanic ash. BOTO wishes Devon a wonderful two weeks, and expresses the utmost confidence in his co-writer’s ability to man the fort, but not in the Urban Dictionary sense of the phrase.
Riveting news on BOTO’s favorite rivalry after the jump: Read More
DEVON GRANDY (Bariloche, Argentina)
We’ve never been one to brag, but BOTO just couldn’t help it upon realizing that Devon’s beloved high school has recently been named by Sports Illustrated as the best school in the nation for athletics. Although yours truly was never an athlete at Punahou (unlike a reported 62% of his classmates), 13 state titles both this year and last, including a five-peat by the baseball team and repeat titles by both the boys and girls basketball teams, are kind of hard to ignore. Suck on that, Texas and Florida!
Self-importance, self-righteousness, and self-advertisement after the jump: Read More
NICOLE CATÁ (New York, New York)
To cut to the chase, your favorite writer (until now), the founder of BOTO, recently formulated the following personal philosophy: the more [snark], the merrier [or more dryly amused, as it were]. To that end, I make my introduction as your most humble co-editor. I refer you to the Writers page on the top-left corner of your browser, and, perhaps more importantly, to the New York Blogs list, where I have made my first contribution to BOTO in the form of some Mets fandom. To our Yankee readership (and, indeed, to my co-writer), I merely assert, “At least it’s not a Sox blog.”
Enjoy.
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