The Real Baseball Season

DEVON GRANDY (New York, New York)

As any baseball fan from the Northeast tell you, the baseball season starts at the beginning of April but doesn’t really heat up until the first Yankees-Red Sox series. As it is, the New York-Boston rivalry is now more heated than ever, and not only because of the Sox’ recent success. So while some people may claim to be tired with classic rivalries (really, Michigan-OSU, too?), Break Out The Oreos remains committed to bringing you fair and balanced reporting of the famed rivalry. After all, it is, as described by an anonymous friend of BOTO, “unparalleled in any sport and possibly unparalleled in the entire world, with the possible exception of Israel-Palestine.” Let’s just hope that Boston never gets the Bomb.

Sabotage, curses, and traitors to the cause after the jump:

Reports that a Red Sox fan/construction worker attempted to sabotage and curse the new Yankee Stadium during the summer appear to have proven true; construction workers broke through two-and-a-half feet of concrete yesterday to extract a David Ortiz away jersey buried below the Stadium. Then again, it might have been a better idea to have just left the jersey underground, considering that the Red Sox slugger is batting .070 since it was buried. And considering the history surrounding cement, burial, and New York sports venues, how are we to know that the real Ortiz wasn’t buried with the jersey and that the guy whiffing at the plate isn’t a lookalike?

The jersey in question will be shipped to Boston in a display case along with a Yankees Universe t-shirt to keep it company. Once there it’ll be auctioned, with the proceeds going to benefit the Jimmy Fund. While BOTO fully supports this tongue-in-cheek yet generous gesture by the Yankees organization, the writers here do question why it is that the money will go to helping Boston cancer patients rather than those in New York.

As for the dastardly construction worker at the center of the controversy, Bronx resident Gino Castignoli may soon find himself in hot water both in court and on the street, as both Yankee lawyers and fans appear to be coming after him. Regardless of whether or not the Yankees file charges, things may get ugly in the Bronx for Castignoli, especially now that he’s invited Hank Steinbrenner and Jorge Posada to a good old-fashioned New York rumble. To avoid any vigilantism and/or bloodshed, BOTO recommends that Castignoli be given a choice between banishment from the Bronx or burning a Red Sox cap at the new Yankee Stadium’s opening ceremonies.

Some interesting tidbits about two young starting pitchers in the New York-Boston matchup: Red Sox starter Clay Buchholz was a Yankee fan in his youth, while Yankees starter Phil Hughes was once a Red Sox fan. Both pitchers started games in this week’s Yankees-Red Sox series and both left Fenway Park with a loss. The moral of the story? Be like Derek Jeter and play for the team you love.

As far as the actual games are concerned, the Yankees showed brilliance (Yankee ace pitcher Chien-Ming Wang’s spectacular two-hitter in Game 1) and then collapsed into what can only be defined as horrific ineptitude (down 7-1 at the start of the fourth inning in Game 3). The Yankee offense seems to be getting better (at least they’re hitting now) but still aren’t performing in the clutch and getting the RBIs they need. And don’t forget this statistic: the Yankees have yet to win a game this season when their opponent scores more than two runs. Besides Wang and perhaps Andy Pettite, the Yankee pitching rotation has been extremely spotty; Mike Mussina has been decent, but Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes have both been mediocre in their starts. And it’s not like the bullpen has been helping them out; LaTroy Hawkins and Kyle Farnsworth have not been able to provide enough wiggle room for the Yankee offense to figure itself out.

The Yankees are also plagued by injuries: Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, and Jason Giambi have all missed games due to injuries, and last night José Molina injured his groin, putting the the Yankees in a bad spot at catcher and pulling most of the teeth from the batting lineup. Also, bullpen sensation Joba Chamberlain, perhaps one of the only bright sparks of hope so far for the Yankee faithful, has taken a break from the team to be with his family after his father’s collapse in their family home in Lincoln, Nebraska. Joba and his father’s inspiring story can be found here; BOTO sends the Chamberlain family all the best and wishes Harlan a speedy recovery.

And so the rivalry continues, more convoluted than ever. The teams match up again in just three days, when they will play a two-game series on Wednesday and Thursday nights in the Bronx. We’ll be back to our coverage then.