DEVON GRANDY (New York, New York)
BOTO apologizes for the brief hiatus; Spring Break has finally ceased for all of the Ivies, allowing their daily publications to return to providing us with material.
Brown campus tour guides have apparently been embellishing their storytelling with exaggerations; the one about Hay Library containing books bound in human skin, however, remains completely and creepily true. Other common falsehoods perpetuated by the guides include Providence’s hipster community and how “all the best parties are at RISD.”
More after the jump:
The Cornell Daily Sun reports on an alleged “party scene” at the more rural of New York’s Ivies. Along with taking the prize for “best awkward overuse of punctuation marks in a headline,” the Sun’s article also features such humorously tickling gems as:
- Describing how those of age “get their drank on at Dunbars and dance on tabletops at Johnny O’s.”
- “Cornell, as a whole, gets crunk.”
- The oddly personal and specific: “After successfully lowering their inhibitions to the point where they’ve long since forgotten they have two left feet and alienated all of their friends back home thanks to an embarrassing rendition of Soulja Boy…”
- “‘Our parties are about depth of feeling, love and humanity,’ [Adam] Vana explained.”
That’s right: wild, crunk, warm-and-cozy feel-good parties where you can get your crazy drank on. Only at Cornell.
Dartmouth has also joined the Ivy League Quidditch scramble; not surprising, considering its geographical and presumptive cultural similarities to Middlebury College, the general student body of which, it seems, pays little attention to the wizard sport. Dartmouth, however, apparently put up a fight against the Middlebury Monsters; a Middlebury beater stated that “the Dartmouth team was definitely the most aggressive we’ve played,” while Dartmouth’s seeker called the game “surprisingly almost violent.”
Harvard, despite many experts’ predictions otherwise, remains both exclusive and snooty. It also, predictably, has a “fun czar,” (no, not Karl Rove) perhaps perpetuating the long-uttered claim that “MIT has more fun.”
Penn, it appears, is not cool enough to host presidential hopeful Barack Obama, though Hillary Clinton naturally made an appearance. Apparently a phantom prank group called “Penn for Change” went about distributing fake flyers and tickets for an Obama speech that was never scheduled to happen. New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson was to give the opening remarks, as well.
Princeton and BOTO alike mourn the death of Robert Fagles, professor of comparative literature emeritus. Professor Fagles, widely known to Columbia students as the translator of Homer’s The Iliad and The Odyssey, not only provided the first month’s worth of Lit Hum material, but also demonstrated that comparative literature is, in fact, a subject that can make one successful and possibly famous. RIP, Professor.
Also: Princeton’s Public Safety officers have requested permission to carry firearms on duty. Yes, Princeton, only now may you call them the “po po.”
Yale lost its internet service on Friday, reportedly tearing students from their Facebook-browsing in what “was the most significant unplanned outage in recent memory.” The Yale Daily News then proceeded to spend the weekend using 421 words to provide an in-depth look at “the frightening episode,” its disturbing causes, and its horrifying repercussions upon the student body, complete with investigative journalism and statistics. Otherwise? Nothing happening.
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